Monday, February 2, 2009

What's the cure for a sugar hangover?

Let's just say there's a football game on television that happens once a year. You invite some friends over to watch it on your husband's ridiculously large t.v. You spend the day filling your belly with things like fresh guacamole, sugar cookies, Swedish meatballs, and chocolate cake. [Curse that Pioneer Woman and her satanically-delicious chocolate sheet cake.]

You then plant yourself in front of the television, balancing a large plate of food on your knees. You have foolishly left your buffet unattended, knowing the pitter-patter of little feet overhead is the children gorging themselves on sugar.

And about thirty minutes into the game, the shrieking and fits of hysterical laughter coming from their direction confirms this very thing.

But you allow it because, after all, it's the Super Bowl. It's a once-a-year phenomenon. It's the only time you ever sit down in front of a football game with your husband (but let's be honest, you're really only there for for the commercials). You pretend to care about field goals and touch downs while you daydream and drool over the back and front sides of Kurt Warner.

You cheer when that one guy goes running across the big green field and scores some points. You feel mildly annoyed when there's a pit in your stomach, as you root for the guys in the red and white uniforms to win.

You console your husband when they don't.

Then you send your husband off on a business trip with a plate full of snacks for the ride. You happily start chatting with your friend Shiloh, and look up to find that the clock says almost two in the morning. You mentally count the hours until you have to be up and going, and realize it's very few.

You decide to eat one last sugar cookie. Because at two in the morning? Sugar cookies are always a good idea.

You go to bed with horrible heartburn and swear yourself off sugar forever. Then after what feels like minutes, your alarm is startling you from sleep. You rouse the troops and find they are faring no better than you:


Except for one, who has the constitution of his father and doesn't seem to need, require, or care for little trifles like sleep:

[ Seen here opening his birthday presents yesterday - a few days early due to the Husband's trip this week]

You forget your self-imposed ban against sugar and decide a cookie for breakfast is the cure for what ails you. You wash it down with a diet coke.

Oddly, it doesn't make you feel any better.

You pledge to never combine football and sugar cookies again, and wonder if your friend Becky would lend you her extra special elastic-waist pants.

And that, dear friends, is how you experience the Super Bowl. In case you were wondering.

33 comments:

Annie said...

Oh, I am so with you there, C. SO WITH YOU. Only we also had vast amounts of french onion dip and chips plus pioneer woman's olive cheese bread (but no chocolate cake, sadly). So I have a fat-and-sugar hangover here.

And yet, the leftover swedish fish and skittles are calling very loudly from their cupboard. Why don't the carrots call like that?

{amy lynn} said...

:)

ours was homemade strawberry ice-cream and chocolate chewie cookies..along with lots of beer, taco dip, and pigs in a blanket. now we are more like the pigs in blankets...

wouldn't it be better if it were super bowl SATURDAY?

seriously.

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

I feel ya! I think I ate my weight in hot wings. I am ashamed.

Beckie Steele said...

No... your friend Beckie will NOT lend you her 'special' pants, for the reasons afore mentioned in your post. However, she does know where you can get some....

mae said...

Your post sounds eerily familiar. All day I have been pigging out on leftover meatballs, chocolate cake, and sugar cookies. I keep thinking I am slipping into a diabetic coma...seriously.

Lindsey said...

I have been substituting cupcakes for child birth for the last three days... and yes, I had one for breakfast at 7:00 a.m. and it was EVERY BIT as good as the one I at at 11:30 last night right before I went to bed. I would like to say that I will kick that habit after I have this baby, but, I know I won't.

♥Shally said...

We spent our day taking care of a sick boy with a fever. He finally felt better at about half time.

Unfortunately, we did not have any goodies because most of my pantry is in the other house. :(

I didn't really care who won, I was just sad that I missed a great opportunity to eat a lot of CRAP!! ☺

andrea said...

and this is where you and i differ, my love. i LOVE football. love it. the game was fabulous, i could've munched on cardboard and not noticed because i was so enthralled with the game. at least with the 2nd half of it.
and LAST YEAR, when the patriots played, holy crap. it was insane. i actually had underarm sweat. not visible, mind you, but i could feel it there.

Jen said...

It was a good game especially the second half. The first half I totally missed b/c I was eating my weight in chips and chili - yum! The only way I've found to help a hangover (whatever your vice may be) is with the same vice that got you there. In your case, maybe an order of french fries :) Hope you're feeling better today.

Jen said...

Meant to add...since the sugar/soda didn't work, maybe something else totally bad for you.

Becky said...

Maybe THIS Becky could lend you some special pants. You KNOW i can!!! It's de-tox for the rest of the day. Spinach shakes, water, carrots. That's it. That, is, it!

Jenibelle said...

They say the cure for an alcohol hangover is a bloody mary, so it only makes sense that the cure for a sugar hangover would be a cupcake, loaded with frosting or something on that order. It all makes sense to me.

Michelle said...

hahaha that is too funny and oh so true. My kids looked like that this morning too.

gab said...

Happy Birthday to McKay!! Glad he got those morningtime genes.

Superbowl=sugarbowl=shoulda-puked-in-the-toiletbowl

Terra said...

at least it was sugar cookies not beer!

Bridget said...

Or you could be like us and be really lazy and take a nap all Sunday afternoon. Wake up just in time for the Superbowl and just roll out of bed and onto the couch and lay there half comatose and somewhat watch the game.

Robyn said...

I have a serious sugar hangover...from Avery's superbowl birthday party. Pink football sugar cookies. And cake. And frosting. ALL. DAY. LONG. Today has not been my favorite day as a parent! It's all my kids ate, too!

Annemarie said...

Yea, I was thinking last night it might be time to bust out the maternity pants with the panel. Whatever works, right?
A sugar cookie + diet coke for breakfast sounds DIVINE!

Christie in Dallas, TX said...

We kept calling it the "Sugar Bowl" at our house, because of all the desserts. I am on a strict carrot diet this week, trying to get back into my clothes... Glad to see we're not the only ones who went a little crazy!

TravelinOma said...

I feel like Hannah every morning!

Carly said...

How I see it is like this- I am okay that the guys in the red and white didn't win because they had someone on their team from the REALLY bad red and white team. And the other team that played yesterday had a player that has true blue blood.

Hope that made sense.

diane said...

I can't sleep maybe I should eat a cookie.

Lauren in GA said...

I love that Hannah, though hungover, had the forethought to bring a pillow to the table. That is a brilliant girl, right there.

We have a child that doesn't seem to need sleep, either. I have been successful in keeping his brothers from killing him. It is a tall order keeping him alive when he is so loud and chipper some mornings.

Rosie said...

The cure for a sugar hangover is, I believe, a piece of cake for breakfast (especially if it's p.w. chocolate cake reheated in the microwave for a few seconds . . . mmmmm) washed down with a diet coke.

After all, isn't the cure for a real hangover a beer for breakfast?

Michael said...

I'm coming to your house next year for the big game. I need sugar cookies like a druggie needs a hit.

Michael said...

I'm coming to your house next year for the big game. I need sugar cookies like a druggie needs a hit.

shilo duke said...

Well, being from good 'ol Pennsylvania, I do not share your disappointment in the outcome of the game. However, I did share the food coma (maybe it was because it was the exact same food) and the exhaustion (totally my fault). I think I stayed just a tad too long since you actually had to get up in the morning and function...I only had to go to the doctor's and then sleep the rest of the day. Thanks for being a good friend, even if it cost you some (unnecessary) beauty sleep for being so nice! :)

shilo duke said...

Well, being from good 'ol Pennsylvania, I do not share your disappointment in the outcome of the game. However, I did share the food coma (maybe it was because it was the exact same food) and the exhaustion (totally my fault). I think I stayed just a tad too long since you actually had to get up in the morning and function...I only had to go to the doctor's and then sleep the rest of the day. Thanks for being a good friend, even if it cost you some (unnecessary) beauty sleep for being so nice! :)

Hazen5 said...

You lost me at Chocolate Sheet Cake! I can't stop thinking about it.

Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

A hearty amen to undressing Kurt Warner. Whew! He's the only sugar cookie I need.

Jessica said...

The only thing better than a sugar cookie at 2 am is...

nope.

Even that's not better.

queenieweenie said...

So THAT's why I feel like crap. Today I alternated between sour patch watermelon and hot tamales.

Hollyween said...

Okay... I've made PW's chocolate sheet cake and I swear that I thought I died and went to heaven. I'm afraid to make it again unless I have some sort of good excuse because I WILL EAT IT ALL.

How can you not love to look at Kurt Warner? That guy's goodness makes him that much more attractive. SOOOO sad they lost. But the Doritos commercial with the snow globe almost made watching their loss worth it.