Monday, January 5, 2009

I resolve...

It's that time of year, friends. The time of year when we are all gorged out on Christmas cookies, and find ourselves pining away for crispy vegetables. We have most likely spent our Christmas break sleeping in late, lounging in our PJs, NOT exercising, reading books until three in the afternoon, and then deciding we're so tired from all that hard work that we need a good nap.

You know I'm not the only one.

I think it's because we spend the last two weeks of each year in a constant state of gluttony and slothfulness, come January, we resolve to be better. We need to be better. We can't stand the thought of our lives turning into what they've been over Christmas break. So we make lists, goals, and we dream big. We exercise. Boy, do we exercise. Ever been to a gym the first few weeks of January? It's AWFUL. It's so crowded with sweat and good intentions that one can hardly breathe.

Well, this year is no different for me. I have spent the last few days pondering over some things I would like to accomplish this year. But rather than set myself up for disappointment when I don't do any of them, I thought I'd make a list of things that I will not do. Sort of a backwards resolution list, a list of things I can accomplish by simply NOT doing any of them. I did a list of these resolutions last year, and really enjoyed them. Thought I'd expand on the idea again this year.

So here it is, my list of things I WILL NOT do in 2009:

  1. I will not pull weeds poison ivy in my backyard.
  2. I will not eat cookie dough and call it dinner.
  3. I will not stop reading books.
  4. I will not laugh out loud when I see people still sporting mullets (I will only laugh inside).
  5. I will not flash the goods for the UPS man.
  6. I will not stop exercising. See number two for reasons on this.
  7. I will not start smoking.
  8. I will not start selling crack.
  9. I will not let crazy ladies do bad things to my hair with scissors.
  10. I will not let a day go by where I don't tell those three kids how much I love them.
  11. I will not love my thighs, especially come summer.
  12. I will not run away to Paris with famous male movie stars, even if they beg and plead.
  13. I will not stop shopping for that perfect pair of shoes.
  14. I will not hate myself, even on those really ugly days.
  15. I will not stop loving and laughing with the Husband.
  16. I will not enjoy doing laundry.
  17. And I will not spend my days wishing for a different life.
What will you not do this year?

30 comments:

Dalene said...

I will not waste one moment with Zoey and I will not keep on this extra 30 pounds and I will not let the year pass without a trip to Missouri.

Dalene said...

Can I just say how exciting it was to be the first comment on one of YOUR posts where, as always, there are sure to be dozens? Yeah me!

Susy said...

Christie:

Only you could put it all in prospective for all of us internet peeps!

Have a great New Year!

Angie said...

I will not whine about being fat while stuffing my face with unhealthy food :)

Christy said...

I love this list! Thanks for the laughs while reading references to last year's posts...

Marla said...

I love an I WILL NOT list!

Misty said...

i did this a few years ago and strangely several of the things i did do. They weren't major things like crack use, mind you, but still...

Annemarie said...

I'm so glad you will not be smoking or selling drugs...

And seriously, did you have a hidden camera in my house the past two weeks?

I love the whole idea of this.

Annemarie said...

The UPS man is gonna be bummed because his resolution was to "accidentally" deliver the wrong pkgs to your house.

brooke said...

I only have one resolution for the new year and it fits with your list. I will not put anything in the microwave without a paper towel over it. Baby steps.

Robyn said...

I love your lists of "will not's". So much better to know you actually will accomplish them!

Becky said...

No crack? None?!?! Humph! Well, then,...will you at least just love your thighs? Please? Cuz,...I do love your thighs- I think they are great.

Bridget said...

All I gotta say is I am so happy for you that you're giving up the crack habit. Phew.

Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

I will not stop my current infatuation with your blog. Gosh, I love it. Hi, I'm Jessica. Your new stalker. I wandered over here from Bye Bye Pie, and so glad I did. If you decide to wander over to my blog, please heed the warning that my blog is lame, lame, lame in comparison to the hilarity found here. Proceed with caution is all I'm saying.

Lauren in GA said...

That was a fantastic list. You make me feel like I can accomplish my goals, too...I mean...I have not plans to sell crack or start smoking, either. Thank you for helping me see that I can actually do this whole resolution thing!

You are a dear!

danandcindy said...

I will not waste as much time checking your blog and reading this lame-o blabber fest...

Meg said...

Loved this! Maybe I should do this instead next year....

♥Shally said...

I always pegged you as a drug dealer. (You had to be on drugs to come up with some of your posts!! )

I'm kidding.

(Or AM I?)

Seriously though...

Great list!

queenieweenie said...

I was worried you'd start selling crack on your blog-so glad I can stop.

Joy & Casey said...

Christie,
You still make me laugh! I sure miss hanging out with you. Don't you want to live in Utah again?????
~Joy

TravelinOma said...

I will not stop reading blogs that make me smile.

Amanda D said...

Love the list! It's great.

andrea said...

i have such an irrational fear of imperfection, that i can't even make an "i will not" list.

ouch.

Michelle said...

I will NOT make any resolutions! But I love the ones you didn't make! xoxo, m

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

I will not denouce myself as your triplet sister in 2009! ;-)

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

Oh, and I loved your list of things you won't do in 2009!

momy4him said...

great list! i'll have to do one for my blog too.

Hollyween said...

Hilarious.

I will not stop reading your blog.

I will not stop hating the braces on my teeth.

Christina B. said...

I love your resolutions!

I will not stop drinking diet coke, especially not from McDonald's.

I will not lose touch with my wonderful friend Christie again!

Rosie said...

I love this list. The last "will not" is perfect.