Friday, February 22, 2008

Nothing to complain about today

Amazing what can happen in a 24-hour period, no?

I have to say that I am well-rested and much happier, in spite of another snow day today. My good friend Maren called and begged to have my children for a few hours yesterday, and (being the good friend I am), I let her have them. Today, the Husband is home and everyone is in good spirits.

The four pounds? Gone, and then some. Go figure.

The house? Still a mess, but what are you going to do?

The bangs? They'll grow. And I'll probably be stupid enough to cut them again.

Life in general? Pretty okay.

I have to thank you, my interpeeps, for all the kind words and well-wishes. I hated putting a whiny post up there, but some days are just like that. Even my brother, Dan, uncharacteristically threw a little sympathy my way. Although I'm sure his snarky sarcasm that I love will be back in full force.

There is a greater question to be discussed, however. Have any of you seen THIS show? Since my TIVO is still painfully lacking, I am venturing out to the unknown, and found myself laughing until I was sick at the pathetic souls willing to share their tacky, awful weddings with all of America. This blushing bride was a particular favorite of mine:

In case you missed it, let me recap the most special day of her life for you.

John and Gail, employed by the three paper routes they both run, are in love. Gail ordered her wedding dress on the internet and instead of getting a size 28 like she ordered, she got an 8. Her loving fiancee tried and tried, but no matter how many breaths she took in, there was no squeezing into that thing. She also ran into a little snag when her teeth turned up missing just before the ceremony. Yes, I said teeth.

The flowers that the bridesmaids carried? Orange lilies stuck into beer cans.

The ceremony took place in a flea market that doubles as a convenience store. The tables were covered with newspaper and the centerpieces were, yep, more beer cans filled with flowers. They said their vows under an arch of [surprise] beer cans and Christmas tree lights. John, the fiancee, guzzled the last few beers just in time to get them hung. What a guy. He's so generous.

When he was writing his vows? He said she was as hot and sexy as a Hot Pocket. The sandwich. He sure knows how to make a lady swoon. He also gave her a stuffed animal out of a vending machine for a wedding present.

Which she loved
.

And when the blessed ceremony was over, instead of releasing doves, they released chickens, and then headed out to ride a mechanical bull. Oh yes, in the wedding dress.

It was hilarious. I have not laughed that hard in a long time. I highly recommend you watching an episode or two.

And whatever my troubles are, I know there are people who are much worse off. I shall never have much to complain of ever again.

Let's hear it for the white trash who make us feel so much better about ourselves.

Yee haw.

36 comments:

Melissa Walker said...

There's nothing like seeing how some people live, and get married, to make yourself feel a whole lot better about where you are!

Denae said...

REALLY??? I am speechless. I must watch that show. I'm glad you're feeling better and hope you have a great weekend.

Bridget said...

OH my gosh, that show looks so funny. I can just imagine you cackling away. Glad to hear it was a better day. How did you get those 4 + pounds to disappear? I need to know that trick, please. The exercise and eating right plan doesn't work for me.

Annie said...

Yes, I'm with Bridget, I need to know the 4+ pound disappearing trick. Besides the stomach flu :).

Vintage Dutch Girl said...

Are those people SERIOUS?! I usually think it's just made-up stuff for a show, but then there are the times when I think they are telling the truth...and that's scary.

Glad you're having a better day. When my scale goes down, I have a better day too ;)

Hollyween said...

Yay for the scale going down. That probably improved your day a whole bunch!!
Okay. This post reminds me of that e-mail going around that shows a white trash wedding. And it is the funniest e-mail EVER. I'm going to see if I can find it and e-mail it to you. I KNOW you'll appreciate it!

Kristin said...

Glad to hear you are having a better day, please pass along the 4 pound loss secret.

gab said...

Is it obnoxious to ask if it had anything to do with "Aunt Flo"? My scale always goes up and my mood goes down right before...

I will try and find that show. Too funny!

Shally said...

That show sounds hilarious!

However, I rode a mechanical bull at my wedding too...

Just kidding.

I'll have to try and DVR it!

Marty said...

I am so embarrassed that you posted my wedding photo.

Rosie said...

It sounds like they were made for each other . . . it just goes to show there is someone for everyone! I'm glad today is a better day. I know that I think about you having to deal with your husband's travel schedule whenever I want to whine about my husband's call schedule. You are a strong woman, and I'm glad the four pounds disappeared!

Ashlee said...

I wish you hadn't put the link on here, because I went to their "blog" and saw the comments and wow! People actually made comments like, "At first I though he peed a lot, but then I saw how much beer he put away...." What? And her wedding gift to him? A bowling bowl that said, "think of me every time you touch your ball." Now that's class.
I would have laughed so hard I was crying too.
Yee haw is right!

marta said...

oh my goodness. this, i gotta see.

Celia Fae said...

Thanks for getting rid of the grumpies and passing them along to me. You must have sent them overnight. My whole family is really enjoying them. Maybe we need to watch trashy reality tv.

Queen B said...

Oh my goodness! I have only (& thankfully) seem that show one time--and it was the same episode!! I was so worried she was going to put her mama's teeth in to walk down the aisle!!

Chatter said...

Glad you are feeling better! I've been having PLENTY of crabby days lately and I'm about sick of them. Sometimes it's hard to buck up. Glad your hubby is home :)

Holly said...

Glad to hear today has been a better day!

After reading about that wedding show, I have an urge to watch Urban Cowboy. Well...not really, that's just TOO much white trash, John Travolta or not. Maybe I'm craving a Hot Pocket? Nah!

Laurie said...

I'll have to check that show out.

Sometimes I watch "Supernanny" just to boost my self-esteem.

Holly said...

I should try and watch it. I could use a good laugh after my day. Let's hear it for white trash to make us appreciate how good we really have it!

DanandCindy said...

I didn't have enough time to read this very long post, but I really liked the photo of you on your wedding day...

Wendi said...

Thanks again for a fabulous ab workout... no equipment needed! This was too funny! Where do they find these people?

Jenibelle said...

I am passing the link on to my daughter. I'm thinking a wedding like that...I might have to put out a couple of hundred, max.

Your mil's comment was hysterical.

I found your 4 pounds. I'll try and get them right back to you.

My name is Ali... said...

glad your day was better than the one before...too funny story, I'm getting a season pass for that show on my tivo right now! i love these silly shows, makes me feel somewhat normal : )

Kristy said...

Yes, with the "Dog" being off the air for awhile, my hubby & I discovered "My Big Redneck Wedding." This was the 1st episode we saw! I can't believe you didn't mention him peeing her name on the street IN FRONT of the florist's shop. You know I'm going to have to do a blog on how the WT population is over-represented in TV. I mean they have Cops, Jerry Springer, and now this?! (Okay, but seriously, Redneck Weddings is some funny stuff...LOVE it!) FYI- The episode tonight was not too far from us. While laughing uncontrollably, I was also a little afraid. I mean, what do you say if you recognize them at Wal-Mart?!

2happy+2 said...

Too funny!! It reminds me of a show my husband sometimes watches while laying in bed late at night. It is on the comedy station. Something like Country Fried ?something. We always laugh in amusement. Nothing like watching white trash before you cuddle up in bed with your husband:0) I am so glad you are having a better day. When I think of you I think of a smiley happy stie not a sad unhappy stie. Keep smileing.

Lauren said...

Whoa...that was quite a weddin'! I am glad you are feeling a bit better and I am glad you vented on your previous post. I think venting to friends is theraputic!

Now, back to the wedding of the century...did they give beef jerky sticks and twinkies away as weddin' favors? I am sort of a white trash foodie...I hope they had hostess snowballs for weddin' cake. No...silly girl not white ones...fuschia pink...that's classier :)

katie said...

OH.MY.GOSH. I have to see that show!

and congrats on the feeling better about everything. A new day always comes...

Michael said...

I'm really glad you put a link to the Hot Pockets website. Though www.hotpockets.com is pretty cool, www.hotpocketsdojo.com is even cooler. I agree with Dan; seeing you on your wedding day brings back so many memories.

kacey@doodlebugspaper.com said...

I actually saw this on tv today!! It was just as funny as your post! I was amazed that people would actually get on tv like this..

Family Adventure said...

I missed the bad day post...but I am glad you are feeling better! And I'd like to know the recipe for losing 4 pounds overnight, please.

Stie...seriously, you are a trooper with your husband being away so much and having to run the household all by yourself. You are entitled to a whiny post or two every so often. As long as you follow it with something hilarious like that TV show description. Oh.My.Gawd.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend :)

Heidi

Melain said...

You CAN'T be serious. It's hard to believe there are people like that running free in the world. The thought makes me embrace my big-city snobbery with wreckless abandon!

Laura/DaPFG said...

well, i guess if you've been married as many times as they have, might as well do whatever the heck you want on the "last" one!

Ashlee said...

Umm...tag. You're it.

The rules are on my blog. :0)

Marie - Mother of the Bird Nest said...

See what I am missing by not turning on the tv? Oh the hillbilly life we could all be living. So funny!

Darby said...

Oh see I thought I was the only one silly enough to watch that show :)

And if you are talking about the same "Maren" I know and love.... she's the best huh?! :) Tell her we miss her!

Jeanelle said...

I just discovered your blog while blog-hopping. Your anniversary post made me well up -- you are such a great writer! But I just had to tell you I have seen this show and my long-time hairstylist's nephew was on an episode last month. I watched and was completely horrified from start to finish. My hairstylist is in no way redneck-ish. I don't know that I would have told anyone my relatives were on that show...that's the kind of information you don't share with people. Ignorance is bliss!!