Thursday, November 8, 2007

Some of life's most valuable lessons

Because I'm so kind and often find myself wanting to help people, I've prepared a tutorial that should enable you to safely navigate your way through life. I've put it in real simple terms so people like my brother Dan could understand it. All you need to know is what's good and what's bad. M'kay?


Good hair:



Bad hair:


Good dog:

Bad dog:


Good clothes:


Bad clothes. Very, very bad clothes (note the prominent camel toe. Ouch, girlfriend. You can tell by the look on her face that she's feelin' it, too.):

Good Sign
(and one I really should have tried, seeing as I had four brothers I could have sold for a handsome profit):

Bad Sign:
Good music:

Bad music:

Good boyfriend. Very, very good boyfriend. [not that I'd know anything about that, ahem]:

Bad boyfriend. For questions on this one, refer to the bad dog above. Stay away from any and all bad Dogs:

And according to the P.E. teacher at my daughter's school, good shoes:

Bad shoes:

Discuss.

27 comments:

Bridget said...

Oh my gosh, that was so funny!!! I love the homeschoolers sign! Remember the Calls in Billerica ward? yikes. And where did you find that dog?? I've got to keep my kids from seeing this post or they'll have nightmares all week.

So did you really cave all the way and get sneakers with a Disney character on them???

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

No, B, you know me too well. :-) I REFUSE to allow those things into my home. I have a little pride left.

RobynandJoe said...

I LOVE the "Brothers 4 Sale" sign...too bad I only had one, so I couldn't offer the buy 1 get 1 free. Sounds like a great deal, though! Maybe in a few months I'll post a "Children 4 Sale" sign...Buy 1 get 1 Free. Another great post...I can't keep up with you!

Diane said...

Note to self...whenever you hear "bad dog"...visualize! Too funny! Where in the world do you find these pictures?

Marty said...

I'm sitting here reading this with your husband. We're wondering who your boyfriend is.

momy4him said...

i am cracking up over here!
i need me one of them homeschoolers signs! i could have so much fun with that one.

Family Adventure said...

This is an excellent list! Excellent! If we could just swap Dr. McDreamy for Dr. Doug Ross, I'd be happier still :)

Heidi

Amber said...

You had me at the Homeschoolers sign. Snort....

Tip Junkie said...

Love this post! I'm cracking up!

kari said...

This is too funny! I think I may have nightmares about that dog. Fun post.

Holly said...

Guffaw!! Good stuff Stie (as always)!

Apparently that long haired dog in satin is in hot water over inappropriate remarks. Surprise? Not so much.

No way did you say CT, oh but yes, you did! Girl! That was a LOT of acid wash and fringe.

lainakay said...

Such a funny post and I'm relieved to hear that you didn't cave on the Disney sneakers!

I WANT that good hair. Is there a way to get it? What I would give...

That bad dog is SCARY, kind of like your post with the eyeballs. Where are you finding this stuff and how can you bear to look at it long enough to post it? Yikes!

The camel toe clothes are too funny. Love the acid wash and the fringe! I feel a little 80's Bon Jovi coming on!

Curious about "Ken - by request only!" The photography is so classic and that's some great hair he's got!

Celia Fae said...

Ms. Camel Toe is going to get a UTI. I'm going to get one just by looking at her.

So if no one likes the character sneakers then who buys them at Payless?

Paige said...

I, too am in pain over looking at the camel toe. That pic should have a warning. and I love McDreamy. I can't help myself. It's so tacky, but true. I saw a Barbie of him in the new cinderella type movie coming up and I really really want it.

Denae said...

The camel toe comment is so funny... her face really does show that she is so uncomfortable. And although I love the good boyfriend I have to stand up for Dog just a little. My husband has convinced he's not so bad.

gab said...

I always think of you when I see the Dog. I'd never heard of him til then. This was too funny!!!

Mahina said...

too funny! thanks for the educating post! i took notes!

Jessica said...

How Rude...Ken played the song we danced to at our reception!!

Chatter said...

Love the camel toe and all the comments regarding it. That thing makes my "you know what" hurt. Ahh.. thanks for the laugh!

Kimberly and Devon said...

How do you come up with this stuff? I do applaud you on refusing to buy the "character" shoes. I refuse to buy those or the flashing light kind. So tacky! How could a gym teacher turn down the versatility of a Sketcher?

crystal said...

Hi there - I keep seeing you on Wendi's blog and Mique's blog so I thought I'd stop in and say hi! This post was hilarious!

I take umbrage at the 80's fringe-y jacket, though. I wanted one so badly when I was in 7th grade!!! Come to think of it, still DO!

mama jo said...

you chose perfect examples of each and every item...the dogs were great

June Cutoff Cash said...

Reese Witherspoon never looked better than she did that night. Take THAT, Ryan Phillippe!

Also, how much do I love celia fae, up there? But she IS gonna get a UTI, I know this much is true. Now I have that song in my head. I KNOW this MUCH is trueee.

And yeah. Why doesn't Patrick Dempsey call me? Even if he did say rude things about the writer's strike.

DanandCindy said...

You could have put a photo of me, with the caption "Cool". And below, a photo of you with the captions "Not Cool/Lame".

pedaling said...

love it!
i just want to grab that cute little pup and squeeze and kiss him.
oh, how i long for the days of cute little girl shoes.

Lisa-Marie said...

My little girl wants a Disney Princess bike helmet for Christmas an I refuse. My sister is actually the one getting her the helmet and I made it very clear what is and is not acceptable! Thankfully she is a good listener and agrees as well!

LOVED this post!

Mique said...

I was going to comment on your last post and glad I held off for this one..because I have the same issues with "tennis shoes." I laughed hard when I saw that your version of tennis shoes is the same exact version as mine- my Jules owns those very pair of "tennis shoes." I think they would be best friends if you guys ever move close to us (come on you know it's a possibility considering all your moves).