Tuesday, November 13, 2007

E.T. phone home



I have caught The Husband watching this show. Oh, yes, indeed.

More than once.

Our friend Jack, and his LOVELY wife, Rexella, claim that all the floods, earthquakes, and catastrophes of the world are caused by a group of aliens, controlled by one evil alien, sent by Satan himself.

Oookkaay. Interesting.

I have to say that I don't really get the whole televangelist thing. You see these guys on t.v., preaching hellfire and damnation 'til the sweat runs off their hair plugs and down their face, and it just leads me to wonder -- if I watch them, does that count as church for the week? Can you just pick a religion on t.v. and call it good?

I'll be honest, if I'm going to forsake my Religion and pick something to follow on the television, it's probably going to be something with a little more zing to it.

You want resurrection? Plentiful on Pushing Daisies. How about sin and deception? Nobody knows more about that than the hoochie mamas on Wysteria Lane. The fact that CSI can come up with a new spin-off show every year is nothing short of a miracle. And let us not forget Mr. Hefner and his three granddaughters/girlfriends who remind us weekly of the perils of living in sin. [Although most men would probably classify this as a show in which they learn envy. Stupid men.]

So I guess what it boils down to is this: To each his own, right? I am sure the ladies sending their monthly social security check to Jack Van Impe do it because they believe in him. I spend a [crazy] three hours every week at my church because it's what I believe in. And that's good enough for me.

I only hope that if the evil E.T. returns as Jack has prophesied, he brings us the Reese's Pieces.

I could tolerate hell if I had me some peanut butter candies to munch on.

12 comments:

Kimberly and Devon said...

Can I order a Coke with those Reese's Pieces too? The other day, I was given a free ticket to heaven. I was just glad that the guy thought I was nice enough to save and thought I should go to heaven.

Celia Fae said...

He touches his nose a lot. That means he's lying. I touch my nose all of the time.

Who buys into this stuff? I need to meet someone who really believes. I think it would be fascinating.

Save me a lawn chair in hell. I'll be watching the Raiders. Thanks.

DanandCindy said...

I always thought you went to slut church.

gab said...

I can totally see Josh getting into this. I'll bet he said "Freaks" a whole buncha times. And isn't BYU football his favorite religious programming?

mama jo said...

if you want to bring a little vampism into the mix...watch "moonlight" on friday nights...he's really cute..

Lisa-Marie said...

That Chuck guy made me nervous. Creepy.

Bridget said...

I've seen women watching him on the TV in the locker room at the gym. A. you've got to be strange if you listen to him and B. you're even stranger still if you listen to him half naked.

lainakay said...

Whaaa? Huuuuh? Seriously?!?

Rochelleht said...

When I was a kid, I sent my money to that Chrystal Cathedral dude. He sent me a calendar. The next time I tried to send him my money to snag a gold medalion, my mom caught on and put a stop to it. I've just stuck to good ol' tithing ever since.

Diane said...

Wow..."He who throws mud gets dirty hands!" Rexella is mighty inspiring. mmmm...bu bye.

Michael said...

I'm so glad the answer has finally been provided. Everything is finally making sense. I even know where the origin of the Starwars movies is. I feel so enlightened. That old man Satan and his ETs...he's a real trickster.

Emily said...

Stie, that was hilarious. And I know this isn't the point but what kind of name is Rexella? Ahhh, it's good to be back on your blog!