Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Not today

I am feeling a bit down today. I just got home from a fantastic weekend with my adorable husband. Nothing like a kid-free weekend to remind you why you fell in love with him in the first place. I don't think I have laughed so much (at so little) for a long time. We stayed up late, we slept in, we ate a whole pan of brownies, we shopped, and we were just together.

But with the end of the glorious weekend comes the let-down of leaving him, and the weight of the next two months looming over my shoulders. I don't know why, but today all of this has hit me. The move, the separation, the travel back and forth, the new start, the new house, the new friends, the lonely week where you have no friends, all the work, and all the things that need to be done. And I can't help but wish it was over. I just want to fast forward through the next two months and be done already. I want our family to be together. I want us to be HOME. I have a new found respect for my friend, Jackie, who sent her husband off to Iraq for over a year. I don't know HOW she did it. (And I recognize that I have very little room to complain.)

But, like I always do, I will pick myself up by the bootstraps and move forward. I will try my best to be patient with my kids when I have no one to take them off my hands and give me a break. I will not think about how lonely it is every night. I will not cry about things I cannot change. I will not grumble when I am sitting at baseball games all alone. I will not waste our last few months in this perfect paradise. I will be positive. I will work efficiently and get us organized to move. I will make it easy for my husband to be alone as well. I will.

Just maybe not today.

6 comments:

Annie said...

Yeah, and you just went through this less than a year ago! Hang in there, Stie, and be good to yourself!

girlymama said...

you can do it! make some lists, start checking things off, and take lots of bubble baths to help you recoup at the end of the day!

dcrmom said...

LOL. You sound like me and this IBS mess. I'll start this awful horrible diet lifestyle without complaining, dangit. Maybe tomorrow. HA!

You'll do great. Your new house is GORGEOUS!!! It does sound like a hard couple months, but it will be worth it in the end. Right???

Bridget said...

Oh, C, I am so sorry. Ugh. Hang in there. Just think of how great it will be in a year when you won't be doing it again!

Marty: said...

You guys are so strong and positive. We've watched you do this before and I'm sure that makes it easier in some ways and harder in others.

Just get your nails painted with little daisies, put on your high heels and a bow in your hair, and you and Pinkalicious can paint the town pink for your last few weeks. Get a good movie and a pint of ice cream, put on a mud facial and let the girl power lift your spirits. Then put her to bed, and get on line and shop til you drop in front of the computer. A few
never fail suggestions for the lonely nights ahead.

gab said...

sorry...I know how hard it is to be a single mom...the days and nights start to just run together when you don't have another adult to break up the day. Go do all your favorite California things, so you won't have any regrets when you leave! Good luck...